Over the last several years I’ve had two very strong, mutually exclusive desires:
The ever present and often overwhelming urge to rent a storage locker, pack my Toronto life into it and set out across the globe without a care in the world…
The simultaneous desire to move out of my houseshare and rent myself a beautiful one bedroom “grown up” apartment which I can fill with nice furniture that I don’t’ have to put together myself, with beautifully decorated walls and a dining table I could throw dinner parties on…
Yeah – I’m sure you can spot the problem there.
While you can have a lot in life, you can’t really be a nomad with a beautiful home (at least not on the salary I make in a year). The desire to travel has always won out against the desire to step up my adulting game. I’ve watched enviously as more and more of my friends put down roots, buy nice property or apartments and set up their grown up spaces, all the while forcefully having to remind myself that this wouldn’t be practical for me. Not now. Not with my lifestyle. So the nice home dream has been kept as far away fantasy.
But then the unexpected happened. Our leaseholder at 93 Madison Avenue was done with the job and not one of my roommates felt like taking up the torch of being responsible for our busy 5 bedroom apartment.
Suddenly, unexpected change was afoot. In 2 months we’d all be homeless! The idea of taking my chances and moving into another flat share with strangers was just too much for me to stomach. Sure, I could luck out again with another amazing crew. Or it could be the worst. Either way, I couldn’t take the prospects and fortunately neither could my roommate Erin so we decided to strike out on our own… but you know, together.
The timing wasn’t ideal. Both of us had only been planning to stay in our current arrangement for another 8-10 months or so, so signing a lease was a bit inconvenient. But you know what? I’ve since decided a lot of good can come of a 1 year lease. It gives me a timeline and the drive to actively take control over my life again. Once the lease is up Erin will be striking out on her own and I’ll be left with three options:
- Find a new place
- Find a new roommate
- Find myself a storage locker – Ding ding ding – we have a winner!
I want to go abroad again. I need to go. I’m going to go.
I’ve been saying this basically since I got back from my last gap year (over 6 years ago). But you get set in the comforts of routine; one year turns into two, time slips away and you get caught up with it. Now I have 1 year to figure it all out. It’s nice to be focused again. Now the only question is where to next? England is a strong contender but for reasons that might be a tad wishful, so we’ll have to see.
Anyways, back to adulting half of this post. After some frantic searching we found our perfect little place. Combined, Erin and I had the main things we needed to furnish an apartment so the start up cost of our new adulting lifestyle wasn’t very dear. The only thing we needed was that dining room table to host those dinner party on and lo and behold we found one on moving day; a solid oak table just thrown away outside the building waiting for us.
So, here I am, writing this post from my beautiful new flat, sat on my balcony in the Autumn sunshine with a cup of fair-trade coffee – just drinking it all in. This is what I needed. A place that truly feels like home for a while. It’s the perfect compromise for my desire dilemma. That little bit of grownupness that this almost 30 year old has been craving without throwing in the towel on my dreams to live abroad again.
It’s only for a year. But man is it glorious. Sometimes it’s the little things – the feeling that I have the kind of home I actually like to spent time in. It’s wondrous to have washers and driers that actually work! And don’t even get me started on the joys of having an entire half a fridge and freezer at my disposal (or an entire coat closet!). Oh – and did I mention the outdoor pool?
I’m enjoying the high life. I’m basking in it. I’m soaking in a new neighbourhood, exploring its gorgeous ravines and reveling in the silence and the space. I’m going to make it a fantastic year. I’m going to enjoy Toronto life to the fullest, take in one last spectacular summer, and then I’m getting myself out of this town, this country (and likely this continent) and finding myself a new adventure.
Because it’s time.
Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this post please feel free to like, share or leave me your thoughts!